I’m currently in the midst of reading The Knack – How Street Smart Entrepreneurs Learn To Handle Whatever Comes Up by Norm Brodsky and Bo Burlingham, which I already believe is, a must read for anyone who currently has or ever plans to own or run a business. There is no such thing as a step by step guide to running a business, but what Norm and Bo do in this book is educate you on situations. They help you train your brain to be prepared for the different situations that come up when running a business.
There is coverage on profit margin, selling, negotiating, delegation and much more, but where the value of this book is truly located is in Norm’s lessons taught through experience. Norm has written this book as if you were sitting down next to him and he was giving you the training that you could then take and apply to your own situation. (I especially like this because it is a method of teaching that we employ at Train Signal with our computer training.)
One lesson that resonates softly throughout all of the lessons and is brought up specifically dealing with negotiating is “You Don’t Ask, You Don’t Get” a quote he learned from his father. I’ve heard this same quote many times and in many forms and I always feel it is worth repeating. We all know that you can’t get what you don’t ask for, but many people are bound by the fear of rejection. Sure, rejection can lead to momentary disappointment, but that’s only if you expect to be accepted. So many times you find yourself not asking a question because you expect to be rejected. If that’s the case why not ask? If you’re expecting rejection you shouldn’t even be disappointed if that’s what is expected. Just smile and move on to your next great question. In cases where the other party says, “yes”, then you’re surprised and walk away happy or with an experience that you otherwise would have just thought about.
People who ask the questions that others don’t many times are more successful in business than those who keep their questions bottled up. Why? Because they don’t have to wonder what-if? They get to experience that which others don’t? They get everything they want? They’re just naturally more successful? No, it’s because as in life, in business, there are multiple people who have different desires and needs. Making assumptions on the desires and needs of others is just a way to miss out on an opportunity to find out exactly what they desire or need. How? By asking them!
Money, time, and flexibility are just a few of the needs and desires that people have to factor in when making any decision. By asking those involved what their needs or desires are and listening to the information they respond with many times will lead you to getting more of what you want. Almost every decision in life is a negotiation. Sometimes it is between you and yourself and sometimes it is with you and others.
To offer an example of this in the personal world think about the classic boy meets girl situation. Asking that cute guy or girl you just met out on a date so often is an opportunity missed due to fear of rejection. A good percent of people are afraid to talk to or ask the other sex out for company for fear of rejection. At first, most people don’t realize that dating and relationships are just a series of negotiations (this never changes, no matter how long the relationship, the best negotiating couples are the ones that last.) When you first meet someone you don’t know what they’re looking for, what they’re thinking, etc… What better way to find out then to just ask.
There is no guarantee that by just asking you’ll be happier, more successful, or anything will change, but by asking you will know one thing for sure; you won’t have to question yourself “what if?” Here is to asking.